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Target, Y’all got some pretty interesting jackets!
I love awkward things. I AM an awkward thing myself. But when I went and did some Christmas shopping at Target the other day I was confused by some jackets. I posted about it on Facebook, and some of my peoples suggested I go try them on, you know, for research. Well, challenge accepted friends. Challenge accepted.
Let’s be clear about something. I AM GLAMOROUS. Like I should be your fashion guru. Guys. I put on PANTS this morning Y’all. Like with a zipper and everything! So if that doesn’t tell you how fancy and fashion forward I am… nothing will. I am also, like, the world’s best shopper. I think I went into Target 4 times this year and the mall twice. So I’m basically an expert at all things trendy and on point. Just sayin’. (Hint: this is one of the posts where I embarrass myself.) Target jackets awkward yet healthy awkwardyethealthy.com Rebekah Svensson
Ok, so first up we have the black trash bag jacket. It’s pretty intense. On the mannequin, it looks sleek and dare I say… cool. However, on me, it looks like I put on a trash bag and stuffed it with…. stuff. Let’s be clear on something here too… this jacket sounds EXACTLY like it looks (Like a trash bag). There will be no sneakiness while wearing it. Also, this jacket is WARM Y’all. I was sweating pretty quick. So I think it might really be a trash bag. You know how people run in trash bags to sweat more? Yeah, that. I’d think it’d be good for rain, but there’s no hood.
It has buttons, not a zipper, which I found confusing, but I went ahead and buttoned it up to see if it would help. It did not.
Ok, so after the fiasco of the extra warm trashbag jacket, I went ahead and tried to be young again by wearing the awkward half jacket. I also tried to look like the mannequins, which is A LOT harder than it looks. Gimme some credit here. Target jackets awkward yet healthy awkwardyethealthy.com Rebekah Svensson
This jacket was actually pretty cute. If they finished it, maybe I’d wear it for real. HOWEVER, I fully accept that fact that I am not the target market for this jacket. Unless of course, the goal of the jacket is to raise awareness for stretch marks. You know what, that’s it! That is the point of this half jacket: stretchmark awareness. Let’s #takebackthebelly Y’all! Target jackets awkward yet healthy awkwardyethealthy.com Rebekah Svensson
Next up, the ungroomed poodle jacket. I’ll admit, I was afraid to touch this one at first. But it doesn’t feel as scary as it looks! It’s soft! But I wonder what happens to it after it gets wet. If I had unlimited funds I would buy it in order to bring it home and wear it in the shower…. just to see what happens. I channeled my best inner Cruella Deville when I put it on, but as you can see that didn’t work. Instead, I just felt like her annoying little sister that hoarded poodles with bad dye jobs.
Someone, somewhere out in the world, can pull off this jacket. Clearly, I cannot. I grew up with toy poodles and my mom is a dog groomer so I was like ‘Nostalgia?’ and My brain was like “No.” So I took it off. Target jackets awkward yet healthy awkwardyethealthy.com Rebekah Svensson
Last up, Trash bag jacket #2/Ziploc jacket. This Jacket was FUN! I was like ‘LOOK I CAN SHOW OFF MY INSULIN PUMP!’ But otherwise, this jacket was kinda pointless. It sounded like it looks (again… trash bag) and provided no warmth. Maybe it can be a raincoat?
Then as I was admiring myself I was like ‘Hey, you can see my Juice Plus shirt! Everyone can know what I sell all winter long thanks to this giant Ziploc bag!’ I was very excited. As you can clearly see. So maybe, if you’re in direct sales, this is a worthwhile investment! Target jackets awkward yet healthy awkwardyethealthy.com Rebekah Svensson
BUT IT GETS BETTER! I started thinking about the poor poodle jacket and how it could never compare, being unable to get wet and all. THEN I THOUGHT OF THE PERFECT SOLUTION! Clearly, the Ziploc coat is not a coat at all, but a coat Protector! Mind blown!
At this point, I was ready to buy the clear trash bag jacket. It just seemed so versatile and necessary! But then I realized I was considering spending 30$ on what is essentially an oversized Ziploc bag for humans, and decided it was time to leave Target. Target jackets awkward yet healthy awkwardyethealthy.com Rebekah Svensson
I bought a diet coke on my way out as an apology to the Target corporation because let’s be honest, they should probably ban me at this point.